The more time that passes with me working two jobs, the more things manage to fall through the cracks.

Most recently (and most troubling) has found me having to play catch up on a number of bills, because simply I forgot to pay them.  Of course that this is compounded by the fact that (even with working my full time job and my part time job) that there isn’t enough money to pay everybody.  And, unfortunately, this is only getting worse as we live off of credit cards as a way to supplement my meager wages.

Most of this is due to the limitations of my wage-earning ability right now.  I am barely managing to hack it working the hours I am.  And there are times (like with an upcoming appointment for Sephoni at the gastroeneterologist, or an unpaid sick day, or an evening off so I can go to therapy, or an unpaid holiday closure (Easter, Memorial Day, etc) at my full time job) when I have to lose hours I really do desperately need.  Of course this is compounded by the fact that (despite promising time and again to stop) we have not yet been able to give up all of our unnecessary spending.

The bigger cuts were relatively easy.  Cutting back on cable services.  Using less utilities.  Telling Sephoni that we can’t afford summer camp this year.  You get the idea.

But, the smaller expenditures seem so harmless at the moment (or maybe more honestly we feel entitled to them) and add up all too quickly.  A bottle of cheap wine, a bag of chips, a novel I’ve been waiting to read, a bunch of clothes off clearance.  $5 here … $10, 15, or 20 there.  It adds up.

I think a lot of it had to do with thinking that it would be resolved by now.  That we only had to hold on “for a little while.”  Unfortunately, more than 8 months later, there isn’t an actual end in sight.  Armed with the knowledge that it will be at least 4-6 months until we hopefully start to get anything in the way of good news (if Accolan gets approved for VA benefits, if our lawyer can convince his disability provider to do the right thing, if we can get him approved instead by SSDI) I have renewed my intentions toward living on less, living more simply, learning to be free from the gimmies.

I don’t share this to whine, although I know that it is probably how it sounds.  I share this more as a way to hold myself (us) accountable.  To start moving in the right direction.

In the meantime all I can do is try to hold on to the faith (the hope … the prayer) that it will all be ok in the end.

Blessings

Jia

Id like to say that I’ve accomplished a lot.  Truth be told I haven’t accomplished very much at all.

We were starting to do well in terms of making healthy dietary changes.  More recently, we’ve fallen back to old ways of comforting ourselves with “junk.”  But, overall we are still eating better than we were.

I haven’t had the time or energy to tackle any de-cluttering tasks.  But, my father will be traveling a bit this month and I will have a little more freedom to pull our bedroom apart and slowly put it back together.

I have gone to 2 appointments with my therapist and am making a commitment to myself to go every 2 weeks for the duration.  It is a hard thing to admit that I need help.  It is even harder to lose my habit of making jokes about my troubles and get real about how frustrated, scared, and even angry I am all too often.

After a brief drop in hours immediately after the holidays my hours at Walmart have returned to their usual level.  This means that I am back to working 58-65 hours a week.  Days off are a rare luxury, but I have learned that I have to have them for both my emotional and physical health.

In terms of health, the four of us have taken turns with various ills during the entire month of January (Sephoni alone has missed 8 days of school).  Luckily, the girls have health insurance again as of yesterday (through the state) and were able to go to the doctor today and get on antibiotics.  In fact, that is probably the best thing that has happened so far this year – it is a huge load off of my mind and weight off of my shoulders to simply not have that worry (or the out of pocket expenses) anymore.

I hope that 2012 has been blessing each of you

Jia

Friday into Saturday is usually the one night that I can try and sleep in in order to play “catch up” on the previous week’s lost and broken sleep.  Thankfully last night was one such night.  THough, truth be told, I could lie right back down and fall back to sleep given the opportunity.

I only work a short shift at job #2 tonight (4 hours), but tomorrow will be  a bit hectic as I am working 5 hours at job #1, coming home briefly, and then going to job #2 for another 4 hour shift.  Then it is a usual week: 40 hours at job # and 21 hours at job #2.

We’re managing to survive since Accolan’s disability was cut off in July.  Not everything is getting paid on time.  We are having to fall a bit further into debt each month.  But, all things considered, we’re okay.

Of course it means that my 3rd job (now that my actual job #3 ended) is very close to what I used to do when Accolan was the sole bread-winner – to make what income we earn seem like much much more.

Some of that means spending hours flipping through sale flyers, perusing couponing websites, printing and or cutting coupons, and shopping.  Shopping with multiple coupons and combining them with special sales and price matching can be a little complicated and so it is something that Accolan and I do together.

From what I’ve seen of this week’s sale flyers, I won’t be able to pull off anything close to my great deal at Acme this week, but I should be able to fill some holes in the pantry nonetheless.

Another part of my “third job” is what is always is this time of year – gearing up for the holidays.  Watching for good sales on items the girls want/need is part of it.  But, this year, much of it involves trying to make as many presents as possible. You know? With all that free time I have (hee hee hee).

So are you starting to plan for the holidays?  Do you make any gifts?

Blessings

Jia

The week started out on a sour note.  Sephoni wound up with another occurrence of stomach pain and vomiting, and after some hemming and hawing Monday found us at the E.R.  While she wasn’t truly emergent, she’d been unable to keep much, if anything, down since Saturday and it was the 3rd episode in 3 weeks.  Having no health insurance these days, it seemed to make more sense to take advantage of the E.R.’s ability to do blood-work (and any other necessary testing) so we could leave with answers even if it meant another bill I would have to figure out a way to pay off.

Their diagnosis was the same it was last year – GERD.  It took until Thursday for her to be able to return to school, but by her birthday on Friday she was almost 100% recovered.  And so we were able to start off our weekend on a positive note.

We decided to take her to buy a new bird as the bulk of her birthday present.  She had missed having a feathered friend since the passing of Maya and for about $40 (bird, food, treats, new toys) we were the “best parents ever.”

Saturday brought with it the arrival of our friend Casey.  We had a lovely relaxing day: went out and bought our Halloween pumpkin and then went to a local Chinese place for dinner (treated by my dad). Afterward, we came home and had birthday cake.

Sunday we had a leisurely morning (coffee and pastry) and headed out to Eastern State Penitentiary.  The history was fascinating.  The visit itself was creepy and a bit sad.  While we didn’t have any overt experiences there were plenty of moments of arm hairs standing on end.  We ended our day with burgers at a nearby restaurant and a unexpected stop in a used bookstore.

It has been dubbed the “best birthday ever” by Sephoni and I think we all had an equally wonderful time.  Casey left last night, as always too soon for my taste, and the plan is for her to come up the weekend of 12/17 for our 4th annual cookie baking extravaganza.  The expectation is that she might have to pick up the bulk of the baking (with my girls as her slaves) as I don’t know how much (if any) time I will be able to take off.

In other news, I am struggling with what to do in terms of blogging.  I desperately still want Blade and Cauldron to turn into something more than a place for me to whine.  I am not really ready to let go of 2 Witches, and am contemplating renaming it (and possibly even putting everything previous into unreadable draft status) and starting anew.  The problem of course is lack of time, lack of energy, and lack of inspiration.

Working 60-65 hours a week does not leave me much.  But, I have to believe that there are ways to make the time, ways to create the energy, and even find the inspiration.

Blessings

Jia

The kids are back to school.

Reya started her Junior year of high school.  She is taking the usual History, English, and Math classes but decided to take Environmental Science for her Science requirement as she thinks this is what she wants to peruse in college.  She is starting her language requirement and decided to take Latin.  She likes her teacher and seems to be genuinely enjoying the class.  She is also continuing with her Art electives.

Sephoni started Junior high and is enjoying the extra freedoms provided by being able to sit with her friends at lunch, instead of with her class; and being able to walk home (now that the district cut our busing) when the weather permits.  She likes all of her teachers (even the Math teacher who she’s heard horror stories about) and is looking forward to starting Band, trying out for Choir, and deciding what other extra-curriculars and/or sports she may want to participate in.

Both girls are getting back into the routine of Tae Kwon Do classes, after a summer of somewhat more lackadaisical attendance.  Reya is now taking adult classes, which means that, while she and Sephoni take class on the same nights, they have class at different times.  It means a lot more running back and forth with dropping off and picking up, but it seems to have reignited Reya’s excitement so its worth it.  Additionally, Sephoni is finally “ready” to return to sparring (she’s been skittish about it since she got hurt back in December and the odyssey of Dr appointments that followed), and the Demo Team is resuming as well (which means she goes to class 4 days a week).

We’re starting to think about planning Sephoni’s upcoming 12th birthday (she wants a Harry Potter themed sleep-over) and how to pull it off on the proverbial dime.  We need to get Reya her driver’s permit and a part-time job, though not necessarily in that order. In other words life continues.

Hope all is well with you and yours.

Blessings

Jia