Last weekend found us enjoying our second annual Columbus Day weekend trip to our friend Casey’s place in MD.  We left Friday around 4:30PM didn’t get home until about 3PM on Monday.  We had a lovely lovely time.  None of us wanted to come home.

Seeing Casey is always enough.  But, just like last year we found ourselves trying to fit in as much fun and sightseeing as possible.

We spent Saturday in Washington, DC.

We walked and walked and walked some more. While last year we made a point to see the White House & the Washington Monument, this year lacked any major landmarks. But I did get a good shot of the Capitol Building in our wanderings.

We spent the bulk of the day at the Smithsonian Museum of American History.  I loved seeing Julia Child’s Kitchen.  I was moved by the Lincoln exhibit/artifacts. Sephoni seemed to really enjoy the hands-on science experiments.  Walking past the flag that inspired The Star Spangled Banner was simply awe inspiring.  There was alot to see, but honestly I enjoyed the Natural History Museum that we went to last year more.  I look forward to picking out a new museum to see next year (or maybe even the zoo as well if we add an extra day).

Afterwards, we walked down to Madame Tussauds Wax Museum.  The craft of wax modeling is amazing.  Some of the figures were actually kinda creepy as the faces could be  pretty realistic.  Walking through the Presidents’ Gallery was a unique experience.  That being said, I felt it was overpriced for the amount of time we spent there.

We finished the day with a meal in Chinatown.  We each placed our order and we ate family style.  The center of the table was a huge lazy-susan which made passing plates so convenient.  The food was excellent.  The company was much enjoyed.

We spent Sunday at the MD Renaissance Festival.

We again, walked and walked and walked some more.  We were on our feet, in motion, probably 90% of the time we were there.

I love going to Renn Faire. The best part this year was that all four of us attended in garb.  This necessitated a purchase for Reya of a skirt and a bodice, but as she plans to use them again next year (and for Halloween and 2 parties in the meantime) it was a worthwhile investment.  Unfortunately, my pain levels (and fatigue issues) were such that my heart really wasn’t in it.  I can’t remember any other time attended Faire that I simply couldn’t wait to leave.

However, toward the very end of the day, when I was finally sitting (and frankly wallowing in a weary body and an achey soul) I was surprised by a group of men dressed in Greenman costumes, singing a traditional Pagan chant. I and Reya listened with delight (I joined in) and I could not help but feel the touch of the Gods in my being there in that moment to hear that song and in it a message of hope.

Hoof and Horn, Hoof and Horn
all that dies shall be reborn
Corn and Grain, Corn and Grain
all that falls shall rise again

– Words and music by Ian Corrigan

We drove back Monday. I miss Casey already. Accolan and I are still paying for all the walking with spikes in each of our pain levels. It was worth every moment.  We are blessed to have such a good friend, who (just like last year) showed us such a good time.

I hope the Fall season is bringing you blessings of your own.

Jia

I, like many other people, am saddened by the rash of suicides of late that are attributed to a person having been outed as being gay (or accused of being gay).

For my household the one that struck closest to home was probably the death of Tyler Clementi, mainly because he attended college here in our state. I have former co-workers who currently attend the same school.

He was an 18-year-old freshman at Rutgers University, a talented violinist, who jumped off the George Washington Bridge after his college roommate filmed him having a homosexual romantic encounter and then released the video on the Internet.

These past days I have watched so many videos – by strangers both young and not so young, by relatives of blogging friends, by celebrities such as Cyndi Lauper and Neil Patrick Harris and Sarah Silverman and Ellen Degeneres. They all speak to the horror and tragedy of a recent explosion of suicides affecting the gay and lesbian population. They all speak to the need to address and stop bullying. They all speak to kids, who feel like they can’t take it any more, and promise that it gets better.

I applaud them. Every person who has spoken out, whether I know you or not. Whether I’ve listened to your story or not.

I applaud the friends and family members who walked the hard road that led to them coming out. They are each, all of them, amazing people who I am proud to know.

However, I do feel compelled to speak out all the same.

I mean no offense. I do not mean to take one iota of attention away from these recent deaths.

But, this isn’t just an issue that affects the LBGTQIA community.  It affects all of us.

Because, while Tyler was targeted for being a gay man, while others have been bullied to death because they were out of the closet (or simply assumed to be homosexual), while others have been targeted for being bisexual or transgender or intersex or for simply questioning their sexuality, so many others have been targeted for other reasons.

Eight years ago, 14 year old Laura Pendall hanged herself.  She was driven to this desperate act by taunts of the popular crowd against her Wiccan faith.  Her identification as a Witch led to classmates bullying her with phrases such as “Burn the witch” and “Ding, dong, the witch is dead.”

Ty Smalley, age 11, killed himself after being bullied for 2 years, mainly for being smaller than his peers.  His father feels the final straw was being punished more severely (a suspension from school for fighting back) than his tormentors were.

Pheobe Prince, 15, killed herself after being stalked and taunted over both her recent immigration from Ireland and a fling with a football player.  Her classmates “teased” her with the lovely phrase “Irish slut.”

On Oct 6, 2004, Corrine Wilson shot and killed herself after bullying came to a head with classmates telling her that she was “she was fat (and) ugly … and that she should just go home and kill herself.”

Anyone who has been verbally bullied in school can attest to what it does to your sense of self and your self esteem. Anyone who has been physically bullied can attest that it feels like you’re never really safe. Anyone who has had to choose between suffering in silence or being branded a snitch or a tattletale knows what these kids lived with.

I know I have. Accolan has. Reya has.

Why?

I could give you a laundry list of reasons.  Some we were born with or born into, some were chosen, some weren’t. The symptoms matter less than the disease.

What matters is that we were, each of us, targeted because we didn’t fit in.  That’s the long and short of it.

In fact, that is, in my opinion, the bigger answer to why so many kids and teens (and even adults) are tormented by their peers, some eventually becoming victims of bullycide, is that they were guilty, of nothing more or less, than being different.

I pray that every person who is being bullied for being who they are finds a way to make it through to the other side. To a place where you can be all that you want to be. I know that, unfortunately, it won’t be long before I read another headline, or watch another heart-felt video. I wish with all my heart that it wasn’t true.

I hoped as a mother, that maybe school-life would be different for my own kids.  I hoped that the world I was bringing two tiny little lives into was, perhaps, kinder than the one I grew up in. Now? I hope for a world that maybe gets better for my future grandchildren.

But in a world where a high school student will smear peanut butter on the face of a seriously allergic schoolmate, maybe hope is misguided.

Blessings

Jia

If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
he learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world.

Amanda Cater

Image: Filomena Scalise / FreeDigitalPhotos.net