Heart-Sick Exhausted Scared

Posted by Jia

Aug 14

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I’ve been quiet in part to still being sad and tired. But, mainly due to Reya’s mood disorder & depression issues which have shifted from a spike to a full blown down-spiral.

She is undergoing a thorough re-assessment of her mental status. She is having her medication adjusted.

I have been doing a lot of online research (as anyone who knows me IRL probably already guessed) so that I can be an informed participant when we have our sit-down with her psychiatrist sometime next week. I sincerely doubt, though, that she will be able to start school in a few weeks with her peers.

My feeling is that she will instead return to an outpatient mental health program that we started her in upon her discharge from Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. While I am grateful that it includes a school component and also has a step-down level that will eventually allow her to return to school I am terrified in terms of the financial aspect of all of this.

Our health insurance is less than stellar. I am grateful to have it. But, that being said this is really starting to add up.

3 hospital admissions – $500 each
outpatient mental health program – $50 a day .. 5 days a week … no CAP and no end in sight
and that’s just the highlights

Thanks to the generosity of friends the monetary blow from this latest crisis has been cushioned a bit. Thanks to Lady Rose (my blogging partner over at 2 Witches and soul-sister) Sephoni gets to be out enjoying the gorgeous weather instead of having to deal with any drama.

It is truly a blessing to have so many people in my life who care.

I will be blogging when I can … I will keep you posted.

Blessings

Jia

Image: Francesco Marino / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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9 comments

Comment by Bianca on August 14, 2010 at 1:33 pm

The bright side of the situation is that you are allowing her to understand that her illness is not a stigma and that she can learn to work with it and deal with the ups and downs. Out here in the wild west we do not have outpatient facilities that deal with any mental health issues. One literally has to have a full breakdown before the mental health community will even look at you. I have been Bipolar all my life and was not given the proper help or care until I turned 39 and went to the source. Yes, I called the administrator of a crisis hospital for help. Once my meds started working and my mind got back on track, I did some research and found out that my maternal grandfather committed suicide during a manic episode.

I am so glad to read that you are getting your daughter what she needs. I I could go back and change something It would be my Mothers attitude about my “moody” issues as a child and teen. Hang in there, she will respect you for it in the end. I wish I could say the same to my mom. I love her, but feel jilted that she ignored my real problems. We still fight when we talk…
Bianca

Comment by Heather Tomasello on August 14, 2010 at 8:32 pm

keeping you and you family in my thoughts and prayers. just get the help for your precious girl, deal with the rest when the time comes.
Heather Tomasello´s last [type] ..Never Again With The Seperate Vacations

Comment by Jennifer on August 14, 2010 at 9:41 pm

So sorry to hear this. Keep the faith that everything is going to work out. I’ve had mental health issues in my life (OCD inherited from my dad) and it’s tough on the whole family. But with the right medications and therapy mental illness CAN be managed just like any other illness. Thank goodness the stigma seems to be lessening a bit.

I will keep your family in my thoughts. Please do keep us updated. And take care of YOURSELF too, mom. It’s important.

Comment by Jia on August 15, 2010 at 7:29 pm

Jennifer

Hubby and I are trying to use this time to rest and recharge. We know we’re going to need to be centered and focused when she comes home in order to help her going forward. I will be keeping you all posted as things change. Thank you for your support.

Comment by Jia on August 15, 2010 at 7:30 pm

Heather

Her getting better is the top of our priority list. The money issues connected to that task, while stressful, really don’t matter in the long run as she is worth kingdoms.

Comment by Jia on August 15, 2010 at 7:59 pm

Bianca

I am so grateful to have access to help for her ranging from inpatient to outpatient. I am even more grateful to have health insurance that covers it, even if I am still left with a bill larger than I can afford. Beyond that we put no stigma on her mental health issues, in fact I usually try and equate them to diabetes … no one’s fault but still necessitates medical intervention and lifestyle changes.

I am sorry it took so long for you to get the help you needed

Comment by Lori Madison on August 19, 2010 at 4:36 pm

Hello,

This is my first time visiting this blog and I just want to say that my heart goes out to you and your family. I will send some positive energy your way.

Blessings to you..

Comment by Jia on August 21, 2010 at 1:04 pm

Lori –

Thank you for your support. It helps to know so many people are on our side in this.

Comment by Ginny on August 23, 2010 at 1:13 pm

Jia, you struck a nerve when you mentioned diabetes. Our oldest daughter had some issues (as the school called them) and she ended up going thru an outpatient program as well. Things still just ‘weren’t right’ and she continued to have all sorts of medical tests. One day, a light bulb went off in one doctor’s head, and they tested her for diabetes. She has Type 1, insulin dependant diabetes, which, if left untested, can result in all sorts of psychosis and psychiatric problems. Once her blood glucose levels were treated and her condition brought under control, we had a ‘normal’ child (althought define normal) again. This happened when she was 14-15 and most wanted to write it off as teenaged angst. I just wanted to let you know there is light at the end of the tunnel……with her on proper meds for her diabetes and only an occassional anxiety attack, we have a 20 year old who is excelling in her junior year of college with friends and a social life we couldn’t imagine 5 years ago. Keep the faith, there are those who went where you are and came out the other side. We’ve got your back. (btw – are you suburban Philly? if so, you might be fairly local)