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What can I say?  The time has gotten away from me.

Our daughter Reya has issues with depression and mood disorder.  So in a good week it can be a bit of a bumpy ride.

It has not been a particularly good week.

As I mentioned the other day, she is scheduled to go for an echocardiogram and a bronchoscopy.  This is just the most important two on an ever growing list of testing we need to deal with as a result of a recent diagnosis of a Chiari malformation and some unrelated troubling symptomology.  This is pretty stressful for her … and, frankly, for us as well.

She also has had major falling-outs with two of her closest friends – Sailor and Keyblade Both of whom claim to never want to speak to Reya again.   I can only hope that it turns out to be 98% teenage girl drama so that it blows over and they make up.

As a result, Reya gets to miss an anime convention this weekend.  One she has wanted to go to for years.  One she tried valiantly (although ultimately admitting defeat) to make more than one costume for.  One she was supposed to attend with Sailor and Sailor’s mom.  One she was supposed to stay in the hotel for and be at for all 3 days.  Needless to say she is devastated.  But luckily only angry now at the friend, and no longer at us for not being willing to juggle the finances and scheduling changes (with father’s day and a visit to Accolan’s ill grandfather already on the schedule this weekend) to try and get her there for even one day.

Never mind the fact that I was worried what her reaction would be if we ran into either of these girls at the con itself.  And I was worried what my reaction would be.

I’m pretty worried about her.  Because this isn’t even everything that’s been on the table this week.

I’m worried about her physical health.

I’m worried about her emotional health.

I’m worried about her future.

I can’t let it go.  I keep picking at it …. thinking how to fix it …. researching medical conditions on the internet …. worried pretty much every waking moment.

And that worry has me blocked way earlier than I would have thought on a brand new blog.  But then, a good friend, told me that I should simply talk to you all about just that … about being blocked, about the real reasons why.

And it reminded me what I really love about blogging.  That when its good, when a writer truly engages the reader, it creates a window into another life.  We become intimately familiar with faces and places we’ve never actually seen in person.  We become connected emotionally to people we’ve never met.

What connects us?  Honesty.

That willingness on both sides to have a conversation.  To express real thoughts and true feelings.

And so I share some of my, our, truth with you.  And I welcome yours as well.

Blessings

Jia

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