Once again I find myself needing to borrow prompts from Dianne Sylvan.
Listening to: Still nothing. Despite knowing that it will help boost my spirits I haven’t made any effort to find a way to bring music back into my life. Part of it is hating the feel of the earbuds, and the inconvenience of having to keep them in my pocket, which would enable me to listen to music during my meal break at work. I even keep putting off buying a set of headphones to wear at bedtime that would enable me to watch Netflix when I can’t sleep or to even start listening to guided meditations to help find my spiritual side again. I’m not even sure why.
Wearing: I have made a concerted effort to wear the tree of life pendant the kidlet bought me for Xmas/Yule every day at work to remind myself that I am loved and I have taken to wearing an aromatherapy pendant as well (with a frankincense based scent) to help modulate my stress.
Eating: Still haven’t gotten on the wagon. We have made a few small changes in the past few months. We gave up diet soda for seltzer and have given up ice cream in the evenings. I am making a concerted effort to make meals based on what’s in the pantry/freezer/etc so we can “use up” the less healthy choices in the house. So baby steps are being made. But, we are still finding ourselves buying junk food though as a way to medicate our emotions as things are pretty stressful right now.
Drinking: Lots and lots of seltzer. Making a concerted effort to try and drink a bit more at work (despite lacking the ability to count on when I’ll have access to the restroom … ah retail!) and really trying to hyper-hydrate at night and on my days off.
Watching: Still too much TV that I’m not enjoying. Some of that is based on my depression, more of it is due to chronic fatigue. I am in the midst of cardiac testing to see if that is a factor and, if not, will pursue other avenues because I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and not knowing why.
Making: Two weeks later and my crochet hooks and yarn are still gathering dust.
Reading: Spending a lot of time reading websites for research for a novel idea that’s been haunting me for a while. Not sure if anything will come of it, but it serves as an interesting diversion.
Cooking: Finally making more real food again. Tried a new recipe for beef stew with Guinness beer, made cookies with flax seed that were a hit, trying to get back into cooking a couple of times a week to keep the rest of the time “heat and eat” to avoid the temptations of take-out.
Smelling: No change. But, I am thinking of buying another diffuser for the living room so I can use oils in the evening as well to help me feel more relaxed.
Disliking: My job. A lot. But, for a number of reasons this is not the right time to make a change. But, I am making an affort to plan more days off during which we can plan fun. I’m planning to do more on my regular days off, even if that just means going to therapy (yeah I’m in the midst of finding a therapist too because my untreated depression/anxiety/etc is probably a piece of the whole low energy thing, even if it isn’t the whole explanation)
Liking: Starting to plan a vacation in the summer. Hoping to do a road trip to northern VT, up to Montreal Canada, across to Niagara Falls, and then back home. It will be a lot of driving (poor hubby) and we will have to get passports, and I’m not sure we can actually manage it (the time, the money, etc) but it’s fun to dream regardless.
Needing: To find a way out of the doldrums, to find the motivation to do the things I know will help, but seem so impossible to do in the moment.
Wanting: See above.